Sex Lives chronicles the evolution of one person's sex life. This week: Aaron, 31, Boulder, CO.
I tried to lose my virginity as a junior in high school to a friend of mine from band who was like, “Oh, yeah, you know you’ve never had sex; we can have sex this weekend.” My parents found out and were not happy. They had checked my Myspace messages where we were planning it and I got grounded for like five months or something like that. My parents—my dad in particular—were very strict. He was raised Catholic and went to the seminary and has had one girlfriend his whole life. I had a real issue separating sex from feelings for a long time, because I was raised to believe that sex was a thing women did for guys when they got married and not thing that both people like to do. To this day, I have issues integrating the relationship side and the sexual side of things into the same person.
The first time I hooked up with a girl was the first week of freshman year of college when everyone's like 18 and horny and they're away from their parents. I was like, “I'm not gonna lie to you, I’m a virgin,” and she was like, “Cool. I’m not going to take your virginity,” and that happened like two or three times throughout freshman year.
February of freshman year I went to a party and drank a bit and smoked a bit of weed and hung out with this girl Kelly and we went back to her dorm room and I didn’t tell her I was a virgin. I lasted for about 12 seconds and pretended that I hadn’t come because I thought that if I lasted for only 12 seconds, she would know I was a virgin. So I just kind of humped around ineffectually until my dick went soft. And then she told me that she was used to guys with bigger dicks than that.
In college, I got back together with an ex-girlfriend from high school during the summer between sophomore and junior year. That was the first time I was having fairly consistent sex, the first time not having sex at like 2am in a twin XL bed, first time having sex that didn’t involve alcohol, probably. She was Miss Teen Washington at the time or something so I was like her delinquent friend. We would hang out and smoke Swisher Sweets in the park because she usually had to be the model of restraint because she was a pageant girl. The two of us hung out with her best friend the whole summer. We would go to her best friend’s lake house and her friend would go to bed and we’d go to the guest room and hook up, or we’d leave her best friend at the fire and we’d go have sex. One of our last weekends, we toasted with shitty blueberry vodka and Lindsey, her friend looked me in the eye and was like, “To wherever the night takes us.”